Thursday, March 31, 2011

Everything happens for a reason...

Or does it? I keep hearing this phrase a lot lately. The older I get, the less I think it is true. I've seen too many people die young, face illness, overcome an abusive past, and lose people they love. However, I look at how my life has progressed so far- if I didn't drop out of college and spend a semester very lost I wouldn't have gone to community college, which would have never given me a reason to live at Kutz for a year, which would have never given me the need to fund my own education, landing at the Binghamton mainly because it had a Jewish Studies major and was relatively cheap.

I just spent an extended weekend in Binghamton. I was last there for just a day or so last year to see some friends who were about to graduate. This time I was in town to visit with my Hillel family and just relax. I am amazed at how much I have grown since graduating, and how much working at AHA has shaped who I am today. I know I was meant to have certain interactions with specific people. They all shape who I am and how I understand the world. What's next? How do I know what the right direction is? I want to do what is going to push me to be the best person I can be. How do I know what that is? If I don't find the money to go Israel, then what do I do? I hate that my questions make me ask more questions, instead of finding answers.