Ze'ev Jabotinsky & Women of the Wall

The view from the top of the Tower of David Museum

 

Kesher Hadash has ruined me for life. I can't sit through a class, field trip or speaker without over analyzing the way in which material is being presented to me. Am I being told the whole story? What bias does the teacher hold? What voices aren't being heard?

For the last week I've been studying at The Pardes Institute of Jewish Studies, an incredible place to learn Jewish texts in Jerusalem. I'm taking classes on a wide variety of subjects, all centered around hevruta learning; Intro to Talmud (Nechama Goldman Barash), Women and halacha (Nechama Goldman Barash), Jewish peoplehood (Daniel Smokler ), Rav Kook (Mike Feuer) and Kabbalat Shabbat (Ruth Gan Kagan). The learning is deep, rich and engaging. I've only been here a week, and I am already trying to figure out how and when I can come back.

Tuesday afternoons are spent outside of the Beit Midrash experiencing Israel through field trips. I chose to go to the Tower of David Museum in the Old City. We focused on a newer part of the museum, the Kishle. The Kishle was built in 1884 as a military compound, as well as a police station and prison. Pre-State underground Irgun members were imprisoned in its walls/ During the archaeological excavations that took place there over the last decade a “timeline” of Jerusalem was discovered – finds from the First Temple Period, the remains of Herod’s palace and tanneries and dying pools from the Middle Ages. It is remarkable to see layer upon layer of history right in front of you.

A video telling the story of Jews who blew the shofar at the Kotel on Yom Kippur when it was illegal.

 

While we were at the Kishle, our tour guide told us a story about how Ze'ev Jabotinsky, in act of civil (religious?) disobedience, chose to blow the shofar at the Kotel on Yom Kippur, knowing that his actions would result in being thrown in jail (Kishle). I couldn't help but think about Women of the Wall, an organization fighting for expressions of all forms of Judaism at the Kotel. Women of the Wall is fighting for religious freedom, just as Ze'ev Jabotinsky was. What's the difference? Ze'ev Jabotinsky was fighting against the British, while Women of the Wall is struggling with its own people.

Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech haolam, oseh maasei v'reishit.

Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel speaks of "radical amazement". I rarely feel as if I experience this. Until now. I returned to Israel a few days ago and felt instantly at ease. I was returning to a place I knew. A place I loved. A place that felt like I had a connection with. After completing my first day of classes at the Conservative Yeshiva, I couldn't help but stare wide-eyed at the incredible city of Jerusalem around me as I walked home. It's been a while since I've felt God's presence. It seemed possible today.

My view for the next few weeks

 



All Good Things Must Come To An End

What a semester this has been! In order to procrastinate on all of my end of semester work that needs to happen before Sunday, I've started to reflect on what I'm taking away from Kesher Hadash.
 
Brilliant teachers- Alex Sinclair, Israel Education; Daniel Moses, Israeli-Arab Conflict; 
      Dave Mendelsson, Israeli History; Michal Ben-Dov (my tutor!); Matan, Ulpan.

 
With the exception of Matan, who I don't know very much about beyond his ability to teach     Hebrew in a fun and engaging way, my teachers this semester are all leading scholars in their field. In addition to being Israel experts, I also found them all to be accessible in a way that allowed me to dig deep into their areas of interest.
 
The desire to keep learning.

Before I came on Kesher Hadash I had a very limited understand of Israel and its history. This semester has inspired me to want to know more. I have always loved to read and have started to add books about this region by non-Jewish authors to my reading list as a way to continue my education about Israel from multiple perspectives.

A real connection to Israel.


 
I had been to Israel a few times before on short group trips. I had always felt that I had loved Israel because I loved being Jewish. The two came hand in hand. I still love Israel, but for different reasons. I love Israel because it is a country with a Jewish heart that is confusing, messy and complicated. I see a lot of myself in Israel.

Beauty.

 

I feel blessed to have been given the opportunity to visit such incredible sights during this semester, and to have met some beautiful souls along the way. 

East Meets West Jerusalem

One of the classes I'm taking this semester can be seen as a microcosm of the Kesher Hadash experience. "Diversity and Difference in Israeli Society" is a course at the David Yellin School of Education made up of American-Jews, Israeli-Jews and Israeli-Arabs/Palestinians. This class is intended to bring us into dialogue with different populations of Israeli society. For our final project, our class was divided into mixed groups of four representing the different backgrounds of our class. Our task was to introduce each other to our significant places in Jerusalem.

We started out in West Jerusalem at a restaurant near Shuk Machane Yehuda to have a lunch full of delicious hummus at "Hahummus Shel Techinah". We then made our way to Marzipan to experience their sweet rugelach. We rounded out our culinary tour by enjoying tea at "Café Nadi". Finally, we took the light rail to East Jerusalem to walk around Salahadin Street, which was described to our group as West Jerusalem's Machane Yehuda.

Our conversations between each location was what I found most interesting about our afternoon together. At the hummus restaurant, we discussed which culture had the best hummus- Israeli or Arab (American was obviously not a contender). Arab hummus was unanimously voted the best by our group. The culinary connections between Arabs and Israelis is quite significant, although often underplayed and denied. Most Jews think that hummus and falafel are Israeli foods when they are really Arab foods.

I asked our friend from East Jerusalem how she felt walking around West Jerusalem, and I did the same for our friend from West Jerusalem walking around East Jerusalem. They both expressed fear of the other neighborhood. They had never been in each others neighborhoods before today, yet they both lived in the same city just two train stops away. Jerusalem is really a microcosm of Israel. East and West Jerusalem residents rarely interact with each other in a meaningful way, much of which is rooted in fear. I don't know how this conflict will ever be resolved if we aren't taught to see each other as humans. And yet, our discussion over hummus felt like friends coming together to break bread.

Spongebob, Ramallah & Meah Shearim

Hanging out with Spongebob in Ramallah

 

Several weeks ago we met an awesome guy from Meah Shearim. He was certainly on the fringes of the community, while very much being a part of it at the same time. We heard about how he walks a fine line between his Jewish world and the secular world. When we toured Meah Shearim, another person from Meah Shearim started to fight with our tourguide, yelling at him for bringing us (non-ultra-Orthodox) to the neighborhood. Our tourguide began to defend his right to bring us to the streets of the neighborhood- a public place. After a little pushing and shoving, our tour guide moved us away from this man. That man does not represent my Judaism.

Jump forward to this afternoon. Another girl from my program and I took a bus to Damascus gate and took another bus to Ramallah. I didn't tell anyone in the U.S. where I was going, because I could anticipate the response- fear mixed in with a good dose of racism. In Ramallah we wandered the streets and finally arrived at our destination- Krabby Patty- a SpongeBob restaurant! This was a pretty ridiculous outing on many levels. The food was not so great, but the décor kept us laughing the whole time. At no point during my trip did I feel threatened, afraid or even disliked.

In Jerusalem, the place that is supposed to be the heart of the Jewish people, why is there a sect of Judaism that makes me feel unsafe? The irony was all too present today. I don't know that things will ever change.




I have no feelings

There has been a running joke in my program, that I don’t have any feelings. Several people on my program outwardly express their emotions on a regular basis. I probably have just as many feelings as my peers, I just don’t express them on a regular basis.

Here is a feeling for you: anger.

I am angry with the community in which I was raised-my synagogue, youth group, camp, etc. How is it that I am a 28 year old committed Jew, and this is the first time in my life I am meeting Palestinians? Why is the word "Nakba" being introduced to me for the first time this semester?

This worries me when thinking about the future of Jewish education  and Israel education. If I am a committed Jew and am finally being presented with multiple narratives about Israel in my late 20's, what happens to all of my peers who went to Hebrew School with me and stopped their education at their Bar or Bat Mitzvah? It is no wonder that so few liberal Jews feel like they have a relationship with Israel. If they don't buy into the Israel of sunshine and falafel, the relationship ends before it really begins.

I did it myself this summer. I did a poor job of facilitating Israel education at camp. I had originally intended for Israel education to be infused in camp. Instead, we had Yom Yisrael- a day set aside to "celebrate Israel". Campers spent the afternoon rotating between different Israel themed activities, the vast majority of which were lacking any significant content. I was asked to lead Israeli dancing. How many Israelis do you know that actually do Israeli dancing? It's similar to trying to find Americans that square dance on a regular basis.

How do so many Jewish professionals continue to portray Israel as a Jewish Disney World, while having a nuanced understanding of Israel? This seems like it is a dishonest form of "education". If we were to teach multiple narratives about Israel at the beginning of one's education, what would happen? One worries that people will reject Israel. This has to be an acceptable decision that someone arrives at. We expect our learners to be critical thinkers in every other area of Judaism. Biblical criticism is widely accepted as a valid form of study. Why do we want people to be uncritical of Israel?

I believe that it is possible to hold multiple narratives, love Israel and struggle with all that comes with a relationship with this crazy land.

My leadership style

Upon graduation, my Rabbi from college gave me the gift of a book about Jewish mentoring. He knew that I was moving to North Carolina to guide teens on their Jewish journey. I think that this was his way of saying that it was my turn to be a mentor.

On the inside front cover, he wrote me a message along with a quote that has really stuck with me:
"Rabbi Eleazer says, any leader who leads the community gently, will merit leading them in the World To Come". -Sanhedrin
(I don't have the book with me in Israel, so that might not be the actual quote, but it's close).

It has taken me a long time to become comfortable with my leadership style. I am not the loudest one in the room. I do not typically like being the center of attention. I prefer to lead from within, rather than in front of a group. In youth group, camp and similar settings, my introverted nature is often seen as quiet or shy. At times it has been frustrating that my "voice" is not heard, just because I do not enjoy competing for air space.

Since starting graduate school, I have begun to embrace who I am. I no longer feel pressure to be a stereotypical leader. In college when I worked at camp, I found myself not being offered the higher camp positions I wanted. I believe that this may have been in part due to my leadership style, which is often not valued as much in youth settings. This past summer at a different camp was a real test for my leadership style. My position required me to be in front of the entire camp often. I feel that my lack of interest in being front and center contributed to the success of my Education team this past summer. It allowed me to create space for my other team members to lead and grow in their own roles.

While some past supervisors have encouraged me to be more of a stereotypical leader, I think my "gentle leadership" is one of my strengths. I hope that other young people who identify with my type of leadership are lucky enough to have people who see them for who they are, and can help them be heard.

Thank you to all of my mentors who continue to lovingly push me to be the best "me" that I can be.

Taking off my necklace

Graffiti on the separation barrier/fence/wall 

This past Wednesday and Thursday I participated in Encounter, a program "dedicated to strengthening the capacity of the Jewish people to be constructive agents of change in transforming the Israeli-Palestinian conflict". In short, we spent two days in the West Bank hearing multiple Palestinian narratives, and stayed overnight in Bethlehem with a Palestinian family.

Before Kesher Hadash, I had never met a Palestinian person. Thanks to my sources of news in America, I had always equated Palestinians with terrorism. I am making an effort this semester to educate myself on the land I am currently living in. The more I learn, the more my Zionist upbringing is challenged.

Last Sunday, our Encounter experience began with an orientation. We got to know our group and went over expectations. I had no problem with most of the expectations- resilient listening, sharing airtime, etc. One rule of the trip stood out- we could not display external signs of Jewish identity when in public. In my life, I have been lucky that I have never felt the need to hide my Jewishness. I was sad that this was the reality in the Jewish State. On Thursday morning as I was leaving my apartment to meet the bus for my trip, I took off my magen david neckace. I hadn't taken it off since I had gotten to Israel in December.

Quotes from speakers that stuck with me:

"Education is the tool to change perspectives and values".
"No boundaries/separation equals peace. Peace is in your heart".
"Only women can change the future and the conflict (they raise the children and pass down values)".
-Eilda and Nimala, Christian Palestinian co-founders of Beit AShams (House of Sun) for Self Development, a community empowerment center in Beit Jala

"The price of peace is much cheaper than the price of war".
"We want people to be pro-solution, pro-justice, pro-life".
"Israel needs Palestine- it is a gateway to the rest of the world".
"Peace is two truths that fit".
"You don't make pace with friends, you make peace with enemies".
-Ali, a leading Palestinian activist at the forefront of a movement for non-violence resistance, building a center for nonviolence and bridge-building called Judur, or Roots on his family's land in the Gush Etzion area of the West Bank.

"People need to reconcile their past to move on".
-Enas, Communications Advisor for the Palestinian Negotiations Support Project in the PLO Negotiations Affairs Department

"Palestinian neighborhoods are open air cages- movement is controlled by Israelis".
When asked what American Jews can do:
"I'm asking you to be Jewish. Social justice. Why are these values "checked in" in Israel? It's about the here and now".
-Sam, Palestinian-American business consultant and activist and founder of the Dalia Association, a Palestinian community foundation committed to mobilize, invest, and distribute resources according to local Palestinian priorities using community-based decision making".

We met so many incredible Palestinians working for peace and justice in their own way. I didn't always agree with their viewpoints. Their stories were often painful to hear. There were so many stories of lives being ripped apart because of the Israeli government policies that discriminated against Palestinians. I had never heard this narrative before. If there is truth to the stories I hear, then how can I support Israel? How is it okay for one people to kick another people out of their land? And yet, I want there to be a Jewish state.

At the end of March, I will be participating in a similar trip (in some ways) called Perspectives, which will expose us to multiple Israeli narratives. I am looking forward to comparing both trip experiences to gain a better understanding of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

The Summer of Kelly

I've always loved summer. My most meaningful experience have always occurred during those hot summer days- my summers at Blue Rill, Kutz, BCI, Jacobs. Besides that one summer at BCI, I've always had to be working over the summer. BCI was such a gift. I've decided to make this summer everything I've dreamed of when I thought about a long-term experience in Israel.

As soon as my program ends I am (hopefully, I just applied) spending three weeks volunteering in the Arava building mud huts and living in a tent!

Desert Eco-Building

I've never done anything like it, and I'm really looking forward to the experience (and the peacefulness of the desert)!

(My first taste of desert living at Kibbutz Lotan)

After some time in the desert I will (also hopefully, just applied) be studying at the Conservative Yeshiva for their first summer session in their Nusach intensive program.

After the Conservative Yeshiva I will be studying Jewish text at Pardes, a place that I have wanted to study in since college.

If you want to help me afford my summer, click here!

I'll be back in NY in August to breathe a little before my last year of Davidson!

Can't I just be Jewish?

This is no secret. I'm applying to Rabbinical School next year. I've wanted to be a Rabbi since I was about 12 years old. I'm now 28 years old. Why haven't I applied in the last 6 years? I could have been done with school by now! Many factors have played into my desire to wait- the cost, the desire to be able to articulate what kind of Jew I am to know what Rabbinical school would be right for me, my lack of comfort with Hebrew, etc. The list could go on and on.

I've been thinking a lot lately about why it is so difficult for me to articulate what kind of Jew I am. Can't I just be Jewish?

I feel very much at home in Reform institutions.
I appreciate the halakhic framework of Conservative Judaism.
I like Reconstructionist Judaism's liturgical choices.
I enjoy the spirituality of Renewal Judaism.

I am a shomer Shabbat-guitar playing-egalitarian minded-traditional leaning-feminist Jew. What school fits that definition?

(leading services at the beginning of the semester at Robinson's Arch at the kotel)

My non-negotiables

My program is leaving for its first Shabbaton tomorrow morning. This past week, my two friends and I facilitated a session addressing pluralism in relation to our Shabbaton. Our biggest challenge was determining what Kabbalat Shabbat swould look like.

I need musical instruments for a meaningful Kabbalat Shabbat.
I can't be in a room with music on Shabbat.
I need a mechitza.
I don't have enough experience to have a strong opinion.
My Shabbat practice is fluid.

There were basically two vocal sides of the discussion. The first was the voice of those who wanted instruments as part of Kabbalat Shabbat. The second was the voice of those vehemently opposed to having instruments be a part of Kabbalat Shabbat because of halacha.

I understand the halacha concerning musical instruments on Shabbat. However, I also identify strongly with those who have musical prayer experiences as central to their Jewish identity. I struggle with deferring to the "frummest common denominator" when it comes to something like this because it assumes that liberal Judaism has no non-negotiables when it comes to Shabbat observance. Additionally, defaulting to tradition, especially in a pluralistic setting where halakhic prayer is in the minority, the message is being sent that traditional Judaism holds more weight than liberal Judaism.

The discussion made me reflect on my own non-negotiables when it comes to prayer. I think that the only thing that would offend me would be to be expected to pray in a space that does not allow for women to lead Jewish ritual.

This Shabbat will be interesting.

I'm curious to learn of other models of pluralistic prayer that actually work. Please send them my way!

What makes a city Jewish?

Visions & Voices, the trip that serves as an introduction to Kesher Hadash, lays the groundwork for the questions we are exploring throughout the semester in Israel. Towards the end of Visions and Voices, we spent some time exploring Tel Aviv in order to gain an understanding of the "New Jew" and what a secular Jewish city looks like. A really interesting question that someone in my group raised continues to come up throughout my Kesher Hadash experience. What makes a city Jewish?

At first, I thought that maybe it was a city based on Jewish values. After rethinking that, I realized that the majority of Jewish values are universal values. My next thought was that a place living by the rhythm of the Jewish calendar was a Jewish city. On the surface, this makes sense to me. When I dig a little deeper, the idea of something like Shabbat becomes problematic. What does it mean when an entire city (or a country) observes Shabbat? When I think about Shabbat, I think about going to a Progressive egalitarian shul, complete with lots of prayerful singing and guitar. I also think of communal meals, reading, and catching up on sleep. Israel defines Shabbat in very specific, traditional ways. Most public transportation, restaurants and shops are shut down for Shabbat, because in the eyes of the Israeli government, activities associated with these things don't fit into its definition of Shabbat. My last idea of something that makes Israel distinctively Jewish is the Hebrew language. In Israel, Hebrew is a national language. It is taught in schools, spoken on the streets and seen on billboards.

Since Kesher Hadash has started, I've been thinking more and more about the centrality of Hebrew. I have always found Hebrew to be a big obstacle for me. It denies me access to texts, to my Jewish tradition. While most Jewish texts can be found in translation, all translations are someone else's interpretations. I don't want others telling me what to think. I want to interpret the texts for myself and come to my own conclusions. It has been extremely exciting to be learning Hebrew in a place where the language is alive. Twice a week, I get to take Ulpan, building my foundation of grammar and expanding my vocabulary. I then get to live my life in Jerusalem and hear and see Hebrew wherever I go. I get to learn my numbers in Hebrew, and then figure out how much I owe the cashier at a store when he tells me the price in Hebrew. When I'm going to meet a friend on a Saturday night and get lost, I use the directional words I learned in Ulpan to ask somebody for directions.

I don't know if the Hebrew language makes something Jewish, especially after knowing so many secular Israelis who just think of Hebrew as their native language. When proposing the idea of Hebrew as a defining feature of a Jewish country, the concept didn't make any sense to my Israeli friends..

I'm still left wondering, what makes a city Jewish?

What am I actually doing in Israel?

First day of school at Maale!

If you were to explain my program solely based on the pictures I upload to facebook, it might look like all I do is eat delicious food. This is only partially true. I am on a program called Kesher Hadash, the Davidson School of Jewish Education's semester in Israel program. The program aims to expose Jewish educators to a form of Israel education that teaches multiple narratives, and not just the stereotypical Jewish narrative.

There are 10 of us in the program, all with an interest in Israel Education. As a group, we take several classes at the Schocken Institute, a JTS owned building in Jerusalem. We take 2 main classes here:

*The State of Israel: Origins, Early History with Dr. Dave Mendelsson
*Contemporary Israel in Contemporary Jewish Education with Dr. Alex Sinclair

At the Maale Film School we are taking two classes:
*A class to learn about how to critique and analyze film
*A class to learn how to make a documentary film (our final project is a 5 minute documentary!)

At Ulpan Milah I am taking Hebrew (which is going surprisingly well).

There are also mini-courses built into our program focusing on Israel education through the arts, and a specific class on the conflict over the conflict.

A big part of our program is extended mifgashim "encounters" with Israelis. We do this in two ways. We meet bi-weekly with a group of students from Hebrew University to explore different topics about Israel and Judaism. On the alternating weeks, we meet in American-Israeli hevrutot (pairs) to learn together.

Once the Israeli Spring semester begins (March?) we have a second mifgash with a group of students from the David Yellin Academic College of Education. This brings together American Jewish, Israeli Jewish and Palestinian-Israeli students to explore issues of identity, religion and nationality.

We also have various trips and Shabbatonim around Israel. I'm most excited about a trip called Encounter, which happens next month.

To help us synthesize all of the moving parts of our Kesher Hadash experience, each of us is assigned a tutor, a professional in the field of Israel Education to meet with on a regular basis.

When people can't understand why I'm not out exploring Israel, it's because my program keeps me really busy. Thankfully, Kesher Hadash is allowing me to explore Israel through the lens of my program.

I'm here...

I am sitting in my apartment in Jerusalem. I am sitting in my apartment in Jerusalem. I am sitting in my apartment in Jerusalem. No matter how many times I say those words, I can't believe it. I've dreamt about living in Israel since I watched my friends go on EIE (the Reform movement's high school semester in Israel) many years ago. I've only been to Israel as a tourist- first as a birthright participant, then as a birthright staff member, and most recently to attend the Israel Kallah for URJ Camp Educators.
To say I was nervous about living in Israel would be a understatement. Tears, anxiety attacks and the overwhelming fear that I couldn't do a semester abroad consumed me. And then, something miraculous happened. I arrived at the airport to meet my friend Kevin and catch our plane to Israel. I was actually doing this.



Arriving at Ben-Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv

After we got our luggage, exchanged some money and got our Israeli SIM cards, we headed outside to take a Nesher to Jerusalem. After what seemed like an eternity, we departed for Jerusalem. Along the way we stopped on the side of the road to pick up a random guy. Other than that, it was an uneventful ride to our first "home". This place was complete with bunk beds, sketchy characters to interact with and a tree in the middle of the kitchen. Who could forget the toilet that was in the shower? I don't have the words to describe this place, so I'll just let this picture speak for itself.

 

 

 

We had enough of the sketchy hostel situation after one night, and luckily had a successful meeting with a realtor the next morning. Before we knew it, we were moving into our great apartment in the heart of Jerusalem. We had adventures getting our apartment set up by shopping at the Shuk- one of our favorite activities.

My favorite purchase was shoko b'sakit (chocolate milk in a bag).

 

 

 

After several days of exploring Jerusalem, we headed to the airport to pick up the rest of our group, and I was finally reunited with this character:

 



The next 10 days challenged and inspired me to think about Israel education in a new light. Watch for my next post to read about my 10 day trip!


If you are following my blog, leave me a comment- I'm curious to know who my audience is!

Shabbat Shalom!