I am often asked why I do certain things as a Jew. Most people who have known me for a while assume that I am a Reform Jew, and are confused when I say things like 'I can't go out until after Shabbat is over', or, 'I prefer more traditional liturgy.'
I am shomer shabbat. I am not shomer shabbat out of the feeling that I am obligated to do so. I am shomer shabbat for many different reasons. I started to explore a more traditional way of observing Judaism when I transferred to Binghamton and got to know the Hillel Rabbi and his family. He was one of the first people I got to know who was deeply connected to Jewish tradition and practice, but was totally connected to the outside world. I had lived a very sheltered Reform Jewish life up until that point. Little did I know that my involvement with the Binghamton Jewish community would lead me to make friends with Jews from all walks of life. My closest friends identified as Conservative, Orthodox, Zionist, Jewish without a label, etc. I found myself a part of a shomer shabbat community, and loved it. I looked forward to the quiet and relaxation each week. I began to experiment with certain things on Shabbat. At first, I stopped doing homework on Shabbat. Then, I stopped using my computer on Shabbat. Next, I stopped using my phone and watching TV. There was something refreshing about disconnecting from the outside world. I had a whole day set aside for prayer, sleep, and friends. This eventually led me to choose to live with 3 other observant girls for my senior year of college, making the active choice to commit to an observant lifestyle.
The Jewish choices I have made over the years have made my life more meaningful. I haven't had many people or situations challenge my choices, until I come home. I don't come from an observant home. I am not part of an observant community. I am fine with living with people who choose to observe Shabbat in a different way (I have lived in a pluralistic house at AHA since August and have done just fine.) It is clear, however, that my family is uncomfortable with how I live my life.. The idea of doing anything for Shabbat is so off their radar. To them, what I do is crazy and to the extreme. What they don't see is that, for the past 4 years, I have found communities that encourage my exploration of Judaism and my choices to live a more observant lifestyle. I am not the only one doing this. I am not as alien as they think of them.
The use of technology on Shabbat has started to make me really uncomfortable. At one point a few summers ago I experienced a powerpoint Shabbat service done by Rabbi Billy Dreskin. At the time, I thought it was really interesting. Looking back on it now, I don't necessarily think that I loved the idea of using a powerpoint, but I did love his creativity and ability to think outside the box. He knew that for so many people, services as they are just aren't enough. I admire his desire to try and engage as many people as possible in prayer.
This past Shabbat I went to my "home" synagogue in NJ. We read Torah on Friday nights. To many, that's a foreign concept in itself. I always grew up doing this way, so it seems pretty normal to me. I really don't like the services there, but I happen to really like the Rabbi and the familiarity of seeing people from my old congregation...so I keep going back. It's really interesting to see the similarities between this synagogue and the Reform synagogue that I work for in Greensboro. Both synagogues strive to be warm and friendly synagogues. Both Rabbis have camp backgrounds. Yet, when it comes to services, so much of the service is not participatory, although it seems like that is what is intended. For both synagogues, so much of the service is the cantor or cantorial soloist singing by himself. I don't like it when people are watching one person pray. I like to do the praying myself! Okay, done with that rant.
Back to this past Friday night in my synagogue. During the Torah service the rabbinical student leading pulled out a laser pointer to read Torah on the projected Torah page on the wall. They took the Torah out but didn't actually read from it. I get that they were trying to make it accessible to everyone. I get that for some people, the technology is really exciting. For me, I just want to hear the Torah being read...from the Torah.
These next 16 days of vacation are supposed to re energize me for the remainder of AHA's school year. I am already looking forward to returning...
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