Being in the Present

I'm in New York until next Sunday for winter break. I'm amazed at how little has changed here, and how different I am. It is really difficult for me to be here, and I'm looking forward to being back at AHA soon.
I have a big problem with being present. I want to enjoy and just try and be in the now. I find it near impossible. I am always waiting for the next thing to happen in my life. When I was in high school, I couldn't wait to get to college. When I was in college I couldn't wait to start my new job. Now I find myself searching to fill my summer and next year. If it's possible, should I stay at AHA? Should I explore Hillel jobs? Should I apply to grad school? Should I go to Israel?
This stream of thought is constantly running through my mind.
I've decided to be selfish this summer. I am applying to spend three weeks in California participating in the Brandeis Collegiate Institute (BCI) on the Brandeis-Bardin Campus of the American Jewish University (AJU.) First, I am really looking forward to being a participant. I can't remember when I wasn't leading some aspect of whatever Jewish community I was a part of. It can be exhausting. After a year of working full time in the Jewish world, I am looking forward to reflecting on my own Jewish journey. I have certainly had a lot of fascinating Jewish experiences since high school, and look forward to using my time at BCI to discover new ways to express my Judaism and to begin to figure out Judaism for me as an adult.